When you build a space around traveling and moving forward, there’s an unspoken pressure always to have a destination in mind—or at least to look like you’re enjoying the ride.

But if I’m being completely honest, I’m not there right now. My mental State isn’t quite back to where I want it to be, and I’m still figuring out what “okay” is supposed to look like.

For a while, I kept waiting for a moment where everything would snap back into focus. I kept expecting to reach a point where I could look back and say, “That was a rough patch, but it’s behind me now.” But recovery—and mental health in general—doesn’t follow a straight route. No clear mile markers are telling you how far you’ve come or how much further you have to go.

Right now, I’m in the middle of it. Some days feel functional, others feel heavy, and most days fall somewhere in the grey area between the two.

I wanted to write this post not to offer a quick lesson or a three-step guide on how to fix things, because I haven’t fixed it yet. 

• I wanted to be transparent. 
• It’s easy to share the views from the top of the trail, but the reality is that a lot of life happens while you’re still trying to find your footing in the dark.

1. You have to admit that something isn’t OK
   1. A lot of people don’t want to admit this, because they don’t want to seem like a failure.
2. You need to take it one day at a time
   1. It isn’t going to fix itself on its own;it will take work
3. You need to figure out why you are feeling this way
   1. It could be several things. 

If you’re reading this and feeling similarly stuck, disconnected, or just exhausted—I don’t have the grand answers yet. But I’m still here, still navigating it step by step, and maybe just admitting that out loud is where the next part of the trip begins.

In the future 

I am pausing regular weekly content. I will be posting things on this blog and over on the YouTube channel. But not every week for awhile. 

I still have some videos I have to finish up. I’m in the process of editing them. But it is a work in progress. So look for the following videos: 

• Carnival Issues 
• Jordan River Temple 
• Long Beach Cruise Port 
• Oquirah LDS Temple

I do have some other blogs and videos I would like to do. So stay tuned and don’t give up on me.